I’m giving away a query and first 250-word critique to a random person who makes a comment on this post between the time it goes up until 8am Central Time on September 24th, 2018 (that’s Monday). All you have to do to qualify is tell me one small thing you did to help someone else within the last week. It could be a smile, taking someone coffee, laughing at someone’s terrible joke. I don’t care. I just need to see some good people doing good things.
Thank you to every single person who shared their experiences and good deeds. I know it’s not usually in our nature to toot our own horn, but I also think it’s uplifting to see all the good that’s being done in the world.
Wren, a seasoned healer, is dismayed when Somnia Online automatically assigns her character, Murmur, to the Enchanter class. Determined to overcome the unexpected setback, she assembles her guild, intent on the coveted #1 spot. Twelve keys stand between her and victory, but finding them is only part of the puzzle.
Armed with telepathic abilities, Murmur rises to the challenge. However, old rivals have followed her to Somnia Online desperate for revenge. Intricate quest lines become more dangerous as NPCs absorb powerful artifacts, and Murmur begins to wonder just what sort of AI controls the world.
Murmur questions her sanity as the real and virtual worlds mesh together. Everyone is keeping secrets from her, even the AI, and Murmur’s determined to uncover them.
A skeleton shambled to the left, its bones creaking softly as it jangled about. Straight ahead was a spider with ridiculously long legs, and off to the right was a cluster of so mething she couldn’t make out. All of the mobs she could see were yellow, probably at least level three. But if she didn’t try, she’d never know.
Feeling reckless , she cast minor suffocation and pulled the skeleton toward her. The fact that the spell manag ed to convince an undead creature it was being strangled was quite amazing. It let out a cackle and jangled over to her as she backed up, hoping to let a third tick hit before it reached her. This time her spell was hitting for five and four. A slight incr ease was at least something. The skeleton flailed a wooden staff in the air and Murmur hoped against hope her hit points would outlast it.
Then it was upon her, three ticks of her Damage Over Time down. The thing was tall and gangly and she realized these skeletons had to be locus , too. Even its empty sockets glowed, like some type of magic possessed it. Considering it was a walking skeleton, that probably wasn’t far from the truth. It swung at her, and barely missed when she managed to dodge. She could fee l the heaviness of her body, and the unwillingness with which it made the movement. That was probably her one dodge for the next twenty. She’d better make it count.
Killing a skeleton was far more difficult than a beetle. For one thing, it was already bloo dy dead. That blasted staff hurt too, though not as much as the pincer claws had. It made Murmur wonder if locus could bruise. Finally, after what seemed like an age, she managed to hack its skull off. She leaned forward and looted the mob. It had twelve c opper on it. Maybe skeletons were a good idea for a while with or without her quest. Not only that, the staff it had been wielding was hers as well.
“Score,” she muttered to herself, aware she was probably grinning like a loon. Sure, her staff skills were n’t up to par but she was sure it wouldn’t take too long. It’s not like melee did most of her damage or anything.
Author Bio:
K.T. Hanna
KT Hanna has such a love for words, a single one can spark entire worlds.
Born in Australia, she met her husband in a computer game, moved to the U.S.A. and went into culture shock. Bonus? Not as many creatures specifically designed to kill you.
KT creates science-fiction, fantasy, and LitRPG like it’s going out of style, with a dash of horror for fun! She freelance edits for Chimera Editing, plays computer games, and chases her daughter, husband, corgis, cats, and snake.
No, she doesn’t sleep. She is entirely powered by the number 2, caffeine, Chipotle, and sarcasm.
There’s a twitter pitch party on the Twitter hashtag #PitMad today, March 23rd, from 8AM to 8PM EST.
Get your twitter pitches ready and make sure to include all the appropriate hashtags, especially #PitMad, in your 140 character tweet-pitch. If you need help creating the perfect pitch, there’s a post about it on my website here: PITCHING ON TWITTER . . . 140 CHARACTER LOGLINES!
Be polite and don’t say anything mean about a writer’s pitch. Please, don’t “like” any pitches. That’s only for agents. If you want to show support, reply with a comment or re-tweet the pitch. You can quote the tweet with your support or praise, or just re-tweet without quoting.
Any genre can be pitched. Pitch up to three times per day, per manuscript. It helps to pitch when you see an agent on the hashtag (throughout the day for a better response). Add #YA, #MG, #NA, #A, or #PB in your pitch to help the agents find the ones they represent. For more detail with your hashtags, see all of the hashtags here!
If your tweet is “liked” (or hearted) by an agent, please confirm they are a legitimate agent, search the agent’s feed, and see what the agent would like #PitMad participants to send them. Then send the requested materials.
For added fun, get some popcorn and scroll through the #fakepitmad pitches.
ALL INDUSTRY PROFESSIONALS ARE WELCOME TO PARTICIPATE IN THIS EVENT.
For those of you who follow me on Twitter and don’t want to hear all my #PitMad hosting mumbo-jumbo, feel free to Mute #PitMad from your feed and you won’t hear almost anything from me all day.
From the Twitter Help Site
How to mute words and hashtags
From the Twitter for iOS app:
Go to your Notifications tab
Tap the gear icon
Tap Muted words.
Tap + Add muted word or phrase.
Type in the words or hashtags you’d like to mute.
Tap Save.
Tap Done.
You will see the mute icon next to each entered word or hashtag.
From the Twitter for Android app:
Go to your Notifications tab
Tap the gear icon
Tap Muted words.
Tap the plus icon
Type in the word or hashtag you’d like to mute. Note: Entries can only be added one a time.
Select whether to enable this in Home timeline or Notifications, or both.
Select whether this is Anyone or From people you don’t follow (for enabled Notifications only, tap Notifications to adjust).
Tap For how long? and choose between Forever, 24 hours from now, 7 days from now, or 30 days from now.)
Tap Save.
You will see the muted icon and the mute time period next to each entered word or hashtag.
Via twitter.com:
Click Settings and privacy from your profile image drop-down.
Click Muted words.
Click Add.
Enter the word or hashtag you’d like to mute. Note: Entries can only be added one a time.
Select Home timeline if you wish to mute the word or phrase from your Home timeline.
Select Notifications if you wish to mute the word or phrase from your Notifications.
Specify From anyone or From only people I don’t follow.
Under For how long? choose between Forever, 24 hours from now, 7 days from now, or 30 days from now.)
Click Add.
You will see the mute time period indicated next to each entered word or hashtag.
Via mobile.twitter.com:
Go to your Notifications tab
Tap the gear icon
Tap Muted words.
Click +Add muted or phrase.
Type in the word or hashtag you’d like to mute. Note: Entries can only be added one a time.
If you wish to mute that word or phrase on your Home timeline, check the box.
If you wish to mute that word or phrase from your Notifications, check the box.
Select whether this is From anyone or From only people I follow (for Notifications only).
Under For how long? choose between Forever, 24 hours from now, 7 days from now, or 30 days from now.)
Click Save.
You will see a muted button and the mute time period next to each entered word or hashtag.
I apologize in advance for the length of this post. But . . .
Loglines are important in every step of the publishing process. Writers use them to get agents. Agents use them to snag editors’ interest. Editors use them to sell the book to their marketing/acquisitions teams. Publishers use them in publicity to the reader.
A good logline is essential to garnering attention for your novel. Pitching is the delivery of your logline to someone else. It takes practice, good form, and fortitude just like . . .
Answer all of the following questions, then narrow things down to your 140-character pitch. As you’re going through, don’t worry so much about length as ideas. You can cut and reword later.
Components of a logline . . .
Main Character
What do they want, their goal or intention?
This can be internal or external, or both if you’re extremely clever.
If you use a name, you’ve wasted a description. What is the primary description of your character? Make sure it pertains to the main plot/theme of the story. And with pitching on Twitter, using ages is also a waste (in my opinion) because you’re tagging with an age category already.
Girl wanting to be seen as herself . . .
A queen desiring world peace . . .
A scientist hoping to cure all disease . . .
(P.S. The first is one of my book, but the others I’m making up as I go.)
Description
More adjectives add to setting, character, genre, and plot.
Be as specific as possible without using words that apply to only your story (like horcrux), because people won’t understand.
Daughter of a wealthy scientist wanting to be seen as herself . . .
A crippled princess desiring world peace . . .
A dying scientist hoping to cure all disease . . .
Main Conflict (Antagonist/Antagonistic Situation)
And how are they in the way of the protagonist getting what they want?
Daughter of a wealthy scientist wanting to be seen as herself, dies, and her spirit is engineered by a techno-cult to use a living host . . .
A crippled princess desiring world peace must face the prince of an invading country in one-on-one combat . . .
A dying scientist hoping to cure all disease is sabotaged by a pharmaceutical company . . .
Plot Synopsis
What makes the story unique?
Especially for science fiction or fantasy, set up the world and what makes it different.
Daughter of a wealthy scientist wanting to be seen as herself, dies, and her spirit is engineered by a techno-cult to use a living host. When she meets her polar opposite, the key to immortality is revealed.
A crippled princess of the underground colony of Sector 3, desiring world peace, must face the prince of an invading country in one-on-one combat . . .
A dying scientist working at a children’s hospital, hoping to cure all disease, is sabotaged by the pharmaceutical company who provides his meds . . .
Emotional hook
The emotional hook might already be included by this point. If not, make mention of it somehow.
Daughter of a wealthy scientist, wanting to be seen as herself, accidentally dies trying to get her father’s attention. Her spirit is engineered by a techno-cult to use a living host. When she meets her polar opposite, the key to immortality is revealed.
A crippled princess of the underground colony of Sector 3, desiring world peace, must face her childhood love, the prince of an invading country in one-on-one combat . . .
A dying scientist working at a children’s hospital, hoping to cure all disease, is sabotaged by the pharmaceutical company who provides his meds . . .
In the last one, I think the children’s hospital is the emotional hook. We know he’s a good guy trying to save children.
Stakes
If they don’t overcome conflict and get what they need, what is going to happen to them, their community, and/or the world?
Daughter of a wealthy scientist, wanting to be seen as herself, accidentally dies trying to get her father’s attention. Her spirit is engineered by a techno-cult to use a living host. When she meets her polar opposite, the key to immortality is revealed, and if they’re captured, the cult will use them to create an army of shifters capable of taking over anyone they choose.
A crippled princess of the underground colony of Sector 3, desiring world peace, must face her childhood love, the prince of an invading country, in one-on-one combat to the death. If she doesn’t win, her subjects will have their legs torn off and be left to rot in the sun.
A dying scientist working at a children’s hospital, hoping to cure all disease, is sabotaged by the pharmaceutical company who provides his meds. Unless he stops them and finishes his work within the week, his funding will run out and the living producers of his cures will die, only weeks before himself.
Try Adding Comps
Think of a character or story that fits one of the phrases you have in your pitch. As many similarities as possible. The main idea is to have the compared work explain the primary idea. If you’re an editor, the comp needs to show a good sales record and potential market. So if you can give this to the agent, they’ll be very happy.
Book comps are always better than movie comps. Published within the last two to three years is best.
Daughter of a wealthy scientist, wanting to be seen as herself, accidentally dies trying to get her father’s attention. Her spirit is engineered by a modern Dr. Frankenstein to use a living host. When she meets her X-men-like polar opposite, the key to immortality is revealed, and if they’re captured, the cult will use them to create an army of shifters capable of taking over anyone they choose.
A crippled princess of the underground colony of Sector 3, desiring world peace, must face her childhood love, the prince of an invading country, in one-on-one combat to the death. If she doesn’t win, her subjects will have their legs torn off and be left to rot in the sun. A BUG’S LIFE meets MAD MAX
A dying scientist working at a children’s hospital, hoping to cure all disease, is sabotaged by the pharmaceutical company who provides his meds. Unless he stops them and finishes his work within the week, his funding will run out and the living producers of his cures will die, only weeks before himself.
For the last one, I got nothing. You can add some in the comments if you like. For any of these actually.
Other Things to Keep in Mind
The more irony in the logline (and your story), the better.
Use action words.
Add descriptive imagery if there’s room.
Don’t use cliches.
Reflect the genre in the words and voice.
Add a countdown to ticking time-bomb if you can.
MOVE AND REARRANGE AND CUT AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE
If this is a twitter pitch, you’re going to have to choose your most important components. Not everything will fit in 140 characters. 🙁
SAMPLE 1
Daughter of a wealthy scientist, wanting to be seen as herself, accidentally dies trying to get her father’s attention. Her spirit is engineered by a modern Dr. Frankenstein to use a living host. When she meets her X-men-like polar opposite, the key to immortality is revealed, and if they’re captured, the cult will use them to create an army of shifters capable of taking over anyone they choose.
For a query . . .
Accidentally dying to get noticed, a girl is engineered by a modern Dr. Frankenstein to use a living host. She must find her X-men-like opposite and reveal the key to immortality, or a techno-cult will use them to take over the world and she’ll lose herself forever.
For a pitch contest . . .
Accidentally dying to get noticed, an invisible girl uses a living host. She must find her opposite or lose herself forever. #PitMad #YA #SF
SAMPLE 2
A crippled princess of the underground colony of Sector 3, desiring world peace, must face her childhood love, the prince of an invading country, in one-on-one combat to the death. If she doesn’t win, her subjects will have their legs torn off and be left to rot in the sun. A BUG’S LIFE meets MAD MAX
For a query . . .
A crippled princess of Sector 3 colony must face her childhood love, the prince of an invading country, in one-on-one combat to the death. If she doesn’t win and gain the world peace she’s always wanted, her subjects will have their legs torn off and be left to rot in the sun. A BUG’S LIFE meets MAD MAX
For a pitch contest . . .
Crippled ant-princess must face invading, childhood-love in combat to the death or hercolony will perish. BUG’S LIFE x MAD MAX #PitMad #A
SAMPLE 3
A dying scientist working at a children’s hospital, hoping to cure all disease, is sabotaged by the pharmaceutical company who provides his meds. Unless he stops them and finishes his work within the week, his funding will run out unless he finds some money. Otherwise, the living producers of his cures will die, only weeks before himself.
For a query . . .
A dying scientist hopes to cure disease and save his patients at the children’s hospital. When he’s sabotaged by a pharmaceutical company and his funding runs out, the living producers of his cures will die alongside his patients and himself.
For a pitch contest . . .
Dying, children’s-hospital scientist is sabotaged by a pharma co. Cures will die with his patients unless he steals quick cash. #PitMad #A
Notice that I had to add what the scientist did, his actions that propelled the story. Otherwise, he’d just seem sad. The hero was missing in action!
Using A Formula
If you use a common form, it will work. But allowing yourself to cut and trim and work with your words, more of your voice will come out in the pitch. The most common form is:
When [INCITING INCIDENT OCCURS], a [SPECIFIC PROTAGONIST] must [OBJECTIVE], or else [STAKES].
For science fiction, fantasy, or unique world-building, sometimes it’s better to use that unique quality to propel the pitch forward.
In a world where people are grown in test tubes . . .
When fourteen-year-old aspiring chef Natalie helps family compete on a cooking reality show, she must uncover a nasty saboteur before Boston’s food truck community is ruined—even if that means risking her chance to win.
FIRST 250 WORDS:
Perched on the edge of a kitchen stool, I kept a smile plastered on my face, but my fingers itched to grab the knife resting on the cutting board.
“You’re awfully quiet tonight, Natalie,” Aunt Donna said from the fridge, loading her arms with vegetables.
Uncle Rick stirred the potatoes and onions sizzling madly on the stove. “She’s probably tired from her trip, love. Let her settle in a bit.” He winked at me.
I sat on my hands and smiled wider. “Thanks for making me dinner. It smells amazing.”
And it did—especially his famous coffee-rubbed brisket—but it felt weird to be in a kitchen while cooking was happening without me. At home, I ran our kitchen.
“Are you sure I can’t help with anything? I could make the salad dressing.”
Or fry up some bacon to go with those potatoes, which would take them over the top.
But there would be no bacon this trip, even though my aunt and uncle had to realize they’d sell more on their food truck if they used pork and shellfish. Especially here in Boston, home to the best seafood I’d ever tasted. But even though they didn’t keep full kosher, those restrictions mattered to them, so I could survive with bacon-less potatoes for a few weeks.
“Don’t worry, there’ll be plenty for you to do tomorrow during lunch service.” Aunt Donna plunked the vegetables down next to the sink and came over to hug me for the zillionth time since they’d picked me up from the airport.
When Kenleigh Maize learns a mysterious DNA sequence is the cause of her infertility, she’s invited to participate in a misleading clinical trial. It won’t treat her infertility but may explain the origins of life.
FIRST 250 WORDS:
Twin boys playing beside a toy bin in the clinic’s waiting room reminded Kenleigh Maize of her haunting discovery. She and her deceased mother were identical twins. Part of her wished she hadn’t found her mom’s cryptic journal entry stowed away in her jewelry box, so none of these family secrets would’ve ever surfaced.
Kenleigh couldn’t resist the urge. She opened the photo library on her smartphone and reread her mother’s entry from May 5, 1992.
The pregnancy tests came back positive. All ten of them! How the hell did I get pregnant without having sex? I found one possible explanation, but it’s disturbing.
“Kenleigh,” the receptionist called from behind the counter.
Phone off, she followed the woman into the doctor’s office and braced herself against the door.
Her confidential medical records were pinned to Dr. Sahoo’s office wall with thumbtacks and pushpins, connected by zigzagging bands of red and yellow string. The shrine looked similar to an evidence wall used by detectives in crime shows. A couple sticky notes adorned her MRIs; others were pinned to her intake forms and prescription history. It should’ve been an alarming sight, but Kenleigh couldn’t help admiring the abstract features of the medical wall. There was an unintended artistic quality to the arrangement, like the color splatter on a painter’s apron. The meticulous nature reminded her that Dr. Sahoo’s examination of her medical condition, as unorthodox as it may seem, was, indeed, an investigation. Maybe today’s appointment was more than just a consultation.
As a writer, editor, and agent intern, I understand how hard it is to get someone to look at your work. I hope that in some small way, I’ve brought hope and joy by giving back to the community that supports me.
I could only pick one winner but there is always the offer of a free synopsis and first ten pages assessment given by Michele Rubin. She’s my boss, a brilliant lady, and is the Chief editor of Cornerstones US, was an agent for Writers House for twenty-five years, and will give you some really good feedback as to what you could do to help those first ten pages shine. Just see the link below.
I am so proud of all the Pitch Madness entrants! You’re putting yourself out there. You’re trying your best. And someday, that will be good enough.
The amount of talent out there is astounding! There were so so many entries I wished I could’ve recommended to the agent I work for. We had to be picky! Nit-picky! This was the most fierce competition and highest quality submissions I’ve ever seen. So if you aren’t one of the people chosen, please remember that you’re probably close! Keep trying!
Team Peppermint Forest with Wade & Timanda
The Candy Cane Conspiracy
The Hiders and the Seekers
The Seven Skies
Divine Architects
Silver and Ice
Pantheon of Nearer Stars
Taco Girl
Darkheart
The Last Story
Spooky Girl
Team Lollipop Woods with Rebecca & Marieke
SUMMER OF L.U.C.K.
THE LUCKIEST GIRL IN THE WORLD
I AM DRAGON
STARS AND SHADOWS
DEVASURA
BLUFF, RAISE, FOLD
FEET MADE OF STARS
HIDE ME AWAY
UNQUEENLY
A MATTER OF MUMMIES
Team Ice Cream Sea with Brenda & Monica
YA Fantasy – FACING DEMONS
MG Contemp/Magic – GIRL OF THE BIG ISLAND
Adult Mystery – THE POISON SEASON
YA Fantasy – THE EVENTIDE
MG Fantasy – THE NINE GRAVES OF GERALDINE GREY
MG Fantasy – SO MUCH FOR PRINCE CHARMING
Adult SciFi – INVADED
YA Contemporary – THE COLD PLACE
YA Paranormal Romance – A RAVEN’S CRAVING
Adult Upmarket Contemporary – SPEEDBUMP
Team Licorice Castle Sharon & Jeyn
MG Magical Realism: Wok Magic
A Gothic SciFi: L’Abatteur
A Paranormal: Specter of a Chance
MG Magical Realism: The Deepest Lake
A Historical: The City With Three Names
YA SciFi: Under The Sea
YA Thriller: GIRL IN RUINS
YA Fantasy: THE MERCIFUL CROW
YA SciFi: Rogue
YA Horror: Neffers
Team Peanut Brittle House with Pintip & Darcy
Intergalactic Backpack – Jared Agard
Nightbringer – Allison Dillon
Things We Weren’t Supposed To Know – Lucy Hallowell
Derailed – Mary Keliikoa
Flesh and Blood – Amy MacMullin
Four Meets Fortune – Nikhita Prabhakar
Sixth Grade Secret Service – Jason Frank
For Whatever We Lose – Robyn Lucas
Your House, My Rules – Marie Garay
Moonlight & Whiskey – Tricia McKee
Team Gumdrop Mountain with Nikki & me!
Vitium – YA Fantasy
Food Trucks and Fireworks – MG Mystery
A Plague on Both Your Houses – YA Contemporary
The Nursery – Adult Speculative Thriller
All the Stars in the Ocean – YA
Book of Miniatures – YA Contemporary
EVERY CINDERELLA HAS HER MIDNIGHT – YA Modern Day Fairy Tale
The Last Relic – YA Sci Fi
Designer You – Adult Women’s Fiction
BOOGERMEN, HOODOO, AND HAINTS – MG Paranormal
And our extra bonus surprise team!
Team Candy Castle with Samantha & Mary Ann
UPSTAGED
TEMPING FOR DEATH
THE GODDESS CANDIDATE
GRAVITY ROAD
ETERNAL CUCKOO
SAVING SOPHIE
THE FIRE BEFORE
SLEEPLESS
LUCKY
CURSE OF SILVER LAKE
The Pitch Madness 2017 submission window is now open!
To submit your manuscript pitch into the contest, use this form on Brenda Drake’s post here.
What is Pitch Madness?
It’s a contest to win a request from one or more of the participating agents. (See who they are here.)
The submission window is open from NOW and until 11:59PM EST on February 24th. You should have plenty of time to get your submissions in. Make sure to perfect your entry. If you make an error, you may not resend. What do you need to enter? A 35-word (max) pitch and the first 250 words of your finished manuscript. If the 250th word falls in the middle of a sentence, go to the end of the sentence. If you’ve entered this manuscript into contests before, you CAN still enter Pitch Madness.
There will be 60 finalists moving onto the agent round. Pitch Madness will accept Middle Grade, Young Adult, New Adult, and Adult (never before published) fiction only, novel length (no novellas) completed and polished manuscripts only. All genres (i.e. fantasy, contemporary, sci-fi, and so on) are welcome to enter. Only one entry per writer.
Each blog host will have a co-host helping them choose their top 10 entries. We have a team of first readers who will check for formatting, grammar, and content and put their top picks through to the hosts and cohosts.
I gave an intensive on The First Ten Pages . . . don’t let them put it down, and a workshop on #PitchWars, #PitMad, and #PitchMadness yesterday, February 11th. There were so many writers there with an impressive, collective talent. Their kindness was paramount. I had my own two-liter of Diet Mt. Dew, a fun lunch, a loud Mariachi serenade at dinner, and I met so many interesting people. The San Diego SCBWI community is truly blessed and I loved being a part of it!
Among many other things, we discussed all the ways to get your first 250 words, your pitch or logline, your synopsis, your query, your manuscript, and your first ten pages looked at for free. I wanted to give the links to all these opportunities in one easy place. Ultimately, all these roads lead back to me and my collegues–and I’d love to help you in any way I can.
Cornerstones offers a free assessment of your first ten pages and synopsis. Click on the logo below and click through the red “Get Started” button to have them looked at by me or Michele Rubin, 17-year agent with Writers House and now head of Cornerstones US.
#PitchMadness is a way to get your pitch and first 250 words looked at for free. It’s a contest though, so you have to apply using the submission window on February 24th. Click on the Candyland game below for more information about Pitch Madness.
#PitMad is a contest where you tweet your 140-character pitch and agents scroll through the feed and like, favorite, heart the pitches they would like to have submitted to them. It’s a great way for agents and authors to connect!
#PitchWars is a contest where you win a two-month mentorship with a publishing industry professional. If chosen, they will help you polish your query, pitch, and entire manuscript to be presented to agents who will request the manuscripts that fit their lists.
As always, if you have any follow-up questions, you can reach me through Twitter: @HeatherCashman
If you were there, I’d love to hear what you thought in the comments!
next to each entered word or hashtag.
